This is total bullshit.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
"Batless" Fresh Cut Walks all over UNUM, 19-7
Home plate eluded Unum hurlers all night as Fresh Cut batsmen dodged called strikes and avoided swinging at garbage "curveballs", drawing countless walks while topping insurance giant Unum 19-7. Travis Meek again provided fireworks with a towering bomb to left, and Don Couture's timely swats proved pivotal in a seven run 4th. Gavin McCarthy toed the rubber for yet another win, though Fresh Cut faithful have started a bottle drive to buy the hurler a new pair of pants.
Two Fresh Cut runners were cut down with malice at home plate, including Mark Bower (thwarting a home run effort) and Josh Thompson on an ill-advised sprint home. Rumor has it that the command to turn for home came from the Fresh Cut bench, rather than the fingered base coach at the time.
Not lost on this columnist is the pure irony of beating a team using their own bats. Truant gamer Lucus "Too Busy" Ritchie forgot to equip the visiting Fresh Cut crew with the carbon nanotube technology that has been integral to Fresh Cut dominance. Ritchie's agent released a statement saying he was "too busy with work" to drive the bats to the game, however an anonymous insider in the Ritchie camp remarked that "well, that Riverton field is just to f---ing far". In the end, Unum lent the hometown pride three bats - two of which were dead and dented - putting Lucus in a position of near permanent ridicule. Fortunately for Fresh Cut - and for Senor Ritchie - hits flowed from the third bat like jello shots at the Halloween party, turning a potential loss and lifetime of "too busy" jokes into a solid W.
Fresh Cut looks to continue their winning ways Monday night at Payson.
Two Fresh Cut runners were cut down with malice at home plate, including Mark Bower (thwarting a home run effort) and Josh Thompson on an ill-advised sprint home. Rumor has it that the command to turn for home came from the Fresh Cut bench, rather than the fingered base coach at the time.
Not lost on this columnist is the pure irony of beating a team using their own bats. Truant gamer Lucus "Too Busy" Ritchie forgot to equip the visiting Fresh Cut crew with the carbon nanotube technology that has been integral to Fresh Cut dominance. Ritchie's agent released a statement saying he was "too busy with work" to drive the bats to the game, however an anonymous insider in the Ritchie camp remarked that "well, that Riverton field is just to f---ing far". In the end, Unum lent the hometown pride three bats - two of which were dead and dented - putting Lucus in a position of near permanent ridicule. Fortunately for Fresh Cut - and for Senor Ritchie - hits flowed from the third bat like jello shots at the Halloween party, turning a potential loss and lifetime of "too busy" jokes into a solid W.
Fresh Cut looks to continue their winning ways Monday night at Payson.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tonight's lineup: July 16
Dromgoole dh/2b
McCarthy p
Meek lcf
Smith 3b
Couture 2b/dh
Vigue lf
Thompson c
Loubier rcf
Pottle ss (Doucette)
Bower 1b
Aromando rf
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Tsunami's Trip up Fresh Cut, 9-8
I wasn't even at this game and I am infuriated and embarrassed that the Fresh Cut juggernaut fell incomprehensibly to the trucker-hat toting men in ca-ca brown, The Tsunamis, again with last at-bats and again by one run. I do not know nor to I want to know exactly what happened except to say that there will be some serious playoff-time reckoning if and when the Tsunami's wash ashore again. If there is any truth to the patently offensive rumor that the knucklesoft once again silenced the nano-tech laced bats of the Fresh Cut crew, I swear I will tear off an un-mustachioned rant like those heard in softball days of yore, one that will carry from the confines of Payson park to the hinterlands of Riverton field.
F the Tsunamis. Vengence will be ours.
F the Tsunamis. Vengence will be ours.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Fresh Cut Defense Smokes B&M, 10-3
Interim Fresh Cut skipper Lucus Ritchie cobbled together a magical line-up at the plate and in the field as the Fresh Cut juggernaut dispatched outgunned B&M 10-3 in just under an hour at Riverton Wednesday night to improve to 9-1 on the year. Pitcher Josh Thompson barely broke the 90 pitch mark in seven masterful innings, inducing grounder after grounder to the left side of the Fresh Cut infield, and timely early batwork paced the mowing men in green to an early 8 run lead that proved to be more than enough. The most noteworthy plate performance occurred in the fifth inning when Lucus Ritchie drew his first slo-pitch walk in at least three seasons.
But the story of the night was defense, as corner minder Brad Smith and shortstop John Pottle gobbled up one and two hoppers all night for easy outs, but the defensive gem of the night - perhaps of the season - occurred when Pottle ranged to short right field for a spectacular diving, backhanded catch to end the top of the fourth, eliciting gasps of amazement and awe from the B&M faithful.
The only disappointment for the Fresh Cut Crew was the lack of fan support, with only the stalwart Doucette family showing off their forest green pride on what was a spectacular night for softball. Next week's Lucus Ritchie bearded bobblehead giveaway and Join Spud Wright in Right Night should put butts in the seats, but the Fresh Cut brass harbor serious concerns about an eroding fan base. Fans are reminded that a limited supply of bearded bobbleheads (real hair!) are available, and that Spud can only take so much love in right. Be judicious, if not prudent, regarding your expectations for either special "alone time" with Spud or a bobbling Lucus Ritchie head.
But the story of the night was defense, as corner minder Brad Smith and shortstop John Pottle gobbled up one and two hoppers all night for easy outs, but the defensive gem of the night - perhaps of the season - occurred when Pottle ranged to short right field for a spectacular diving, backhanded catch to end the top of the fourth, eliciting gasps of amazement and awe from the B&M faithful.
The only disappointment for the Fresh Cut Crew was the lack of fan support, with only the stalwart Doucette family showing off their forest green pride on what was a spectacular night for softball. Next week's Lucus Ritchie bearded bobblehead giveaway and Join Spud Wright in Right Night should put butts in the seats, but the Fresh Cut brass harbor serious concerns about an eroding fan base. Fans are reminded that a limited supply of bearded bobbleheads (real hair!) are available, and that Spud can only take so much love in right. Be judicious, if not prudent, regarding your expectations for either special "alone time" with Spud or a bobbling Lucus Ritchie head.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
RE: Game 10 lineup
Lineup vs. B&M: July 2
Seth C
Seth C
Spud RF
Travis LCF
Lucus 1B
George 2B
Brad 3B
Vigue LF
Jack RCF
Thompson P
Pottle SS
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